A Special Guy

Sony (not his real name, of course) was in his mid-thirties when I first met him. We had to find a partner to do something, and as he was sitting next to me, I turned to him. He was frozen white - his pale complexion even more pallid in the yellow light. Immediately, I told him that I would pray and he would just agree with whatever I said.

After the worship, I learnt more about him and introduced him to more people around us. I got his contact as I was intrigued in how he, an Aspie, managed to learn and talk to others. I had shadowed a student throughout his years in Primary School, and other than the years that I taught him, he had never spoken anything else. Nonetheless I had heard this former student speak normally to his mother before while I was in a telephone conversation with her. My suspicion was then that folks with Asperger Syndrome are also able to display traits of selective mutism because they are highly intelligent and gifted, as well as able to control themselves extremely well.

The next few months of texting over WhatsApp revealed an intriguing and sympathetic tale. Being the chairperson of the Special Needs Ministry, immediately I connected with folks that could support him and help him grow in our community.

Knowing him also resulted in new vocabulary that I would use to describe behaviours in my special folks and strategies that I would use to help them overcome their fears. To prevent him from scooting, for example, we would seat Sony in between folks that he was comfortable with. He would not be able to get up and get out of an unfamiliar situation.

Being with Sony can swing either ways. Temperamental due to his family background, I had to be very careful in interpreting his text messages, often rewording them to mean what I think he wanted to say. I gradually learnt to give him space and sign out of chats when I sensed that he was in one of his moods. Doing that deprived him of venting negatively on the wrong person and also preserved my sanity because I had several other contacts that could send my nerves in a knot.

I do not need a physical count in my Ministry where co-workers are concerned. I always believe in breaking down walls of communication and training my community to embrace my special folks. In fact, the best therapy, I realised, is to get my special folks involved in helping other special folks. Hence the more able of my special folks are able to lead other less able special folks within sight of the regular co-workers. Sony is a great help in some aspects. By helping out in those defined aspects, he is in fact honing his own abilities to help himself and his family members, as well as help other special folks in gaining more independence. It becomes a win-win situation for all. It becomes a great way of integrating special folks in the community at large. By inviting church groups into our activities, the community is also exposed to ways of helping my special folks settle down more comfortably in church.

Nobody is perfect whether we fall under the category of 'normal' or 'special' folks. The joy comes in seeing walls broken down between both groups and seeing my special folks gain skills where once they were not evident.